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Tiyama's Special Scar VBAC

10/25/2013

2 Comments

 
2012 was a very bittersweet year for our family. In the late spring of 2011, my husband ended up being diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility. There were some decisions to make, and after a lot of thought and heart to heart chats, we felt the choice we made was right for us. We decided on sperm donation, and began trying that August. We were on cloud nine when I found out I was pregnant a few days before Christmas.18 months and then the help of a sperm donor, two pink lines and the word “pregnant” on a digi test!!! By late January, I found a midwife team that saw no reason why I couldn’t vbac with a classical scar and happy to have me as a client. I’ll never forget how elated I felt, me, under the care of home birth midwives. A water birth during the summer, what could be better?  What we didn’t see coming was a cervix too weak to remain closed. My water broke at 20 weeks, I prayed for a miracle, to somehow see my little one through and keep him inside my womb. That miracle didn’t come, Azriel was born on 4/14/12 at 20.1 weeks and lived just long enough for us to say goodbye. When he left, so did my hopes and dreams for a home birth, a water birth and the midwife I had searched for, for so long and finally found…

I spent my time going between researching cerclages and planning Azriel’s memorial. By early August, I had my mind made up. Since no OB or MFM specialist I spoke with agreed to place a transabdominal cerclage for me in my state (California), I found one who would in New Jersey and at cost!  The thought of having a cervix that would never take another child from me filled me with hope for trying again, I felt my prayers were answered and could just focus on my little guy’s memorial. I had the rest of the year to mourn and heal, or so I thought.. On August 10th, I had to go to the ER for severe lower abdominal pain. Despite being a Friday, I was brought in straight away, gave them a urine sample and placed in a bed. The doctor *thought* he saw something on the ultrasound screen and also told me they should have my results from the urine I gave very soon. I was told the pregnancy test was negative but he would order another ultrasound by an actual technician to get a more accurate picture. While I was waiting for the ultrasound department to call me in, a nurse came in to check on me. She was at the computer and causally mentioned my test was positive. “What test?” I was puzzled “The pregnancy test,” she replied. I stared at her just as the doctor came slowly through the curtain looking very sheepish. “I’m so sorry, ” he said, “it’s the nurses that usually read them, I figured I could help give you an answer a little quicker but I didn’t wait long enough. It’s my fault. There is a second line though.” “It’s still pretty faint but a line is a line.” The nurse piped up with a smile. ?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????? <—— in my head. How could this have happened?? DH and I had made love once and was told without ivf it wasn’t likely we’d get pregnant on our own, I even laughed when birth control was mentioned by one of the many high risk OBs I’d spoken to a couple of months before. Pregnant? Eventually, I got the ultrasound and a blood draw and by the time the results of both were back, I had a new ER doctor. He spoke to the OB on call who told him the cyst they found sounded like a corpus luteum cyst, although larger than usual, was normal and would most likely resolve itself. Beta was 165, was told that was a bit low and I had to go back to be checked for doubling numbers. The numbers kept climbing and the journey of a new pregnancy began. 

Though shocked, DH was elated, his miracle baby was on the way! I was far from elated, I was scared and felt like a cruel joke was being played on me. It was then that the faith I had in God shattered, was He serious, putting a sweet little life in a womb that was attached to a piece of sh*t for a cervix? Why steer me toward support groups that helped me find my TAC surgeon, knowing I had to save up the $5000… I had the chance to have a ‘normal’ pregnancy. WTH?! I became a different person as the weeks went on, I grew more and more bitter. I snapped at anyone who tried to tell me things would be different this time around. How could they possibly know that? I felt trapped into getting the cerclage I had wanted to avoid. I went with the perinatologist in the practice who’s plan for me was a 12 week cerclage placement, 17P shots and bi-weekly monitoring. He was the least annoying care provider in the practice but it didn’t save him from me. (I’m sure my chart has really colorful code words describing me as a patient.) A lot of my rage was directed at him and he got an earful at every appointment. I had to leave the IC support group I had joined, I couldn’t take the posts full of hope, positivity and the faith they seemed to have in their care providers and cerclages. Not that they shouldn’t, I was glad for them but I felt so out of place. I had none of those feelings. DH tried everything he could think of to help me feel more hopeful, but he couldn’t. I felt like a failure and was sure our journey wouldn’t end with this baby coming home either..

My saving grace was my Special Scars group. I hated being that way and thankfully, my SS sisters offered lots of love, support and listening ears.  A package arrived in the mail from a dear SS sister that contained two very important books, one was a bible and the other was a book called ‘I Will Carry You’ by Angie Smith. I was instantly drawn to that book and started reading. Many, many, many tears later, I finished the book and felt sad but inspired. I was still frightened of losing the baby but for now, we were together. I was carrying him and already my pregnancy was more than half over. The baby deserved positive vibes and I looked at the positives that had gone ignored. A loving husband that made sure I was in a wheelchair to get around, a cervix that was holding up despite my earlier protests and fears, a pretty easy pregnancy that had only a week of morning sickness, friends and a few family members who cared and were very supportive, the couple of friends going through their own high risk pregnancies making sure they checked in with me. I started repairing my relationship with God as well, with the help of an e-book called Rainbows and Redemption and decided to rejoin the IC support group.

By 28 weeks, I smiled in the Perinatologist’s office for the first time and it surprised him so much he commented that it was really nice to see. My next thing to tackle, since it had been brought up by the Peri, was the birth. I had convinced myself that there was no hope for so long, I didn’t bother seriously thinking that far ahead. Since I took home birth off the table, I had to truly look at the possibility of a c-section, truly take it seriously for the first time. The idea of a vbac in the hospital wasn’t very appealing but I would try if I had no other option for a positive c-section. The most important thing to me became a positive environment, being so close to the one year mark of losing Azriel, I didn’t want to have to fight. I had heard of family centered c-sections before and I knew if I had to go that route, I wanted that kind of an experience. I searched online and found a wonderful e-book ‘Make the Most of Your C-Section’ by Mindy Brouse. I made an appointment with my regular OB to discuss it. I armed myself with info from the book, as well as an article regarding the use of clear surgical drapes and info about waiting until 39 weeks for delivery. By the time I saw my OB, I even had contact info from the OB and midwife mentioned in the book (thanks to Mindy) as well as the director of anesthesiology that implemented the clear drapes in his Boston hospital. He was impressed by the amount of research I put in and didn’t see any reason to disagree with a family centered c-section. The only disagreement was the week for delivery but we settled on a compromise of 38.6 weeks. He promised to work on getting the perinatal services director to look into the drapes and clear a couple of things with the anesthesia department, with a tentative date set for the 11th of April. He also asked if he could keep copies of the articles I brought in, so he could refer back to them for future patients and I told him absolutely yes!

At 35 weeks, I had my last 17P shot and it was time to remove the stitch. With the help of twilight sedation in the OR, it was a successful removal after a very painful attempt in his office the day before due to scar tissue. The Peri tried to convince me that I wouldn’t make it to April at all, let alone the 11th and to reconsider my c-section date because I was already 3-4cm dilated. I refused, 3-4 was typical for my cervix and with all the scar tissue, I wasn’t worried about sudden labor. Good news came in by week 36, everything was in order for a family centered c-section, including the drapes I wanted. Everything was all set for 4/11/13 at 9:30 in the morning. I felt at peace for the first time in a long time. On Easter Sunday, I caught a terrible cold. Thanks to a garlic lemonade recipe from a great friend of mine, I was feeling better by the following Sunday (4/7) just had a cough to deal with. It was still concerning so I called my midwife/doula, R to ask her opinion, she said if it was still very bothersome by 4/10, I should have the surgery rescheduled. It wasn’t my fault I got sick and coughs/colds don’t have cures, you just have to deal but not along with major surgery if at all possible. I completely agreed and continued the lemonade.

4/8/13: That afternoon, irregular contractions started and by evening, tapered off and stopped. On the 9th, the same irregular contractions started again, I paid them little attention. All day and into the evening, an hour here, 20 minutes there, 5 minutes, 15 minutes, 2 hours, ect, no real pattern and assured my husband that a trip to the hospital wasn’t necessary. By 8pm I was happily watching Hart of Dixie and didn’t notice any contractions, I figured once again they most likely tapered off. At 9pm, I started watching the new episode of New Girl, our Tuesday night routine  when suddenly a contraction hit. This time however, the location was different, instead of just feeling it in my stomach, it seemed to start really low like near my cervix, moved to my bum, up my back and around my stomach. 5 minutes later, the same thing and every 5 minutes after that. At 9:30, I called R to see what she thought, I was pretty sure they weren’t a big deal but just in case… She answered on the second ring and I was in the middle of describing what was going on and if early labor could have a pattern, when another contraction hit, I had to breathe through it. She said early labor can have a pattern, and from the sound of things, something was definitely going on. “Do you have a plan in place for a vbac?” R asked and I said I didn’t, we both burst out laughing, as here I was most likely in labor. She offered to come and check my cervix, if I felt up to it, I decided to let her. I trusted her completely and felt it would help me make a more informed decision on what to do next, she was on her way. I hung up and no sooner had I done that, a much stronger contraction came over me. I moved into a modified downward facing dog position, that didn’t help. I made my way to sitting on the toilet for a little bit, that brought some relief so I stayed there. I told DH R was on her way, he then became superman suddenly. Before I knew it, the kids were being organized, I could hear him fishing my hospital bag out of the closet, and constantly checking on me in the bathroom. Eventually, the toilet wasn’t helping so I grabbed a towel and moved to the living room. I placed the towel on the floor (don’t ask why) and sank to the floor. WORST IDEA EVER!!! I was stuck there, howling like a wounded wolf engulfed in wave after wave of strong contractions. R arrived just before 10pm, DH let her in and she immediately went to my side after placing her midwife bag down. She spoke soothingly to me as DH went to check on the kids. Once a contraction came to an end, R said “I’m ready to check you whenever you’re ready.” I told her to go ahead and do it right then before another one came back. With a gloved hand, she checked as gently as she could. I fully expected to hear still at 3-4cm but instead she replied, “you are 8-9 sweetie”. “What? Are you sure?? The scar tissue… I can’t be.. I really am that far, my cervix isn’t broken?” I was shocked. “Our bodies can surprise us sometimes, can’t they?” she smiled and gave me a hug. I started to feel sick after another contraction and began to throw up, thankfully she had prepared for that possibility and had a bucket nearby. “That’s a good thing, your body is too busy laboring to digest,” she rubbed my back reassuringly as I kept vomiting . When my husband came back out to check on me, R told him that it was time to go to the hospital. I was progressing fast and we needed to get going. DH called my mom, since I was too sick to do it myself. R helped me get to my feet just as the boys came to wait in the front room. I wailed as another contraction came, my 6 year old kept asking what was wrong. R explained simply that his mommy’s body was working hard to bring his little baby brother or sister into the world. DH came out of the room, dressed, bags in hand and with some clothes for me. R and DH helped me get dressed and we started down the stairs, just as my mom pulled up. The boys got into her car and DH and I got into R’s, my mom called out to us that my sister would meet us at the hospital. We all hit the road just after 10:30 pm.

The freeway ride was a smooth one and we made it to Kaiser. It gets a bit hazy as I was in a world of pain, a wheelchair was brought over, we got to L&D, I signed admission papers and brought to a room. Someone, mostly likely a nurse asked how far apart my contractions were and I had no idea, mostly groaned in response. R had left to park her car, there was a delay in DH coming to the room with me at first but once he came in, R was right behind him along with my mom, sister and our boys. R handled the staff beautifully as DH was focusing on me, making sure I was okay. I was given a quick check and was almost completely dilated, with water still intact. The nurses were pretty laid back, there seemed to be no real rush, no immediate IV, just an efm placed on my belly. The on call OB came and introduced herself, tried to ask me questions but I couldn’t really answer her. Between DH and R, she seemed satisfied with their responses and said she’s be back in a little bit. I was in agony and begged R for drugs. It surprised DH but R wasn’t at all, she just gave me a knowing smile and replied that the only thing that would make me feel better, was having the baby. I was doing great and didn’t need them. It wasn’t long before my chart was pulled up to reveal my history. Amazingly, no sudden panic or drama, just matter of fact “oh, a classical scar.” Dr. W came to my side to inform me of my “risks” but also stated that, everything looked fine with me and baby. Even though in her opinion a c-section would be best, I had already labored and was at 10cm at that point, I would most likely deliver before they could finish setting up the OR. What did I want to do? I told her I wanted to try to push. She mentioned if baby took too long to come, I would have to go through with the c-section, which R did not like how that was phrased but it didn’t bother me. If anything started to go wrong, I agreed to a section. “Well then, let’s have a baby!” She asked if I was comfortable in the position I was in or did I want to be a bit more vertical. I wanted to move so she said as soon as the nurse got the IV placed, I could. The nurse blew out 2 veins in my hands, which pissed off my husband, before calling another nurse to place it. The second nurse placed the IV on the side of my wrist, it worked perfectly and then I was free to move into position for pushing. My sister took my 6 year old outside since he started getting upset, my 10 year old followed, leaving our oldest to watch. The first nurse instructed me to grab both legs, my mom said no way, that I would tear for sure and I insisted I couldn’t, so no leg holding. The OB asked permission to break my water, I said okay and….. All the memories of how pushing felt came rushing back, I screamed and pushed. I stopped, crying that it hurt too much, I couldn’t do this!!!! “Yes you can, you ARE doing this!!” R encouraged me and the next push created a freight train, I couldn’t stop pushing even if I wanted to. I screamed the entire time and soon heard everyone calling my name over and over. I opened my eyes to everyone’s smiling faces, heard a small gurgled cry and felt a warm and wet baby on my stomach. Castiel Inias was born at 11:30pm on 4/9/13 at 38 weeks and 4 days, 6lbs 9oz and perfect. He had a short cord so he couldn’t go up to my chest immediately. The OB asked if I wanted DH to cut the cord, I asked if it had stopped pulsating, she said it had but I looked to R for confirmation, she smiled and nodded. DH cut the cord and I lifted him to my chest, he latched perfectly once he started looking to nurse. It felt so surreal, from questioning if I was even in labor to holding my sweet baby boy, all in 2.5 hours. I declined his bath during our stay and requested a form to keep my placenta. Both wishes were respected without issues. R promised to take my placenta with her so she could encapsulate it for me. R stayed with me for the rest of the night, as DH went home with the boys. I asked about going home the next day, and was told if all looked well for baby and I, we could. By the evening of the 10th, Cass and I went home and we all began to settle in as a family of 6. 

I still can’t believe I had a VBAC, even 2 months later. I could not have done any of this without the love, encouragement, wisdom, support and friendship of my SS sisters. I started this journey in a really dark place, this group lifted me in ways I can’t put into words. I love you all very much! My sweet little Azriel, thank you so much my love, for allowing us to have you in our lives, even if for just 20 weeks. Your sacrifice saved your little brother and I know you will continue to look over him and us, until we meet again. We love you and miss you. Castiel is doing very well and is so loved by his brothers. He’s a mama’s boy already and DH barely gets to cuddle him lol. I do believe, had I made it to my c-section date, it would have been a positive experience. In the end, I’m just grateful that Cass made it to us, decided to come when he was ready and chose a great day to be born.
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2 Comments

Joanna's VBAC

10/20/2013

2 Comments

 
Joanna blogs here.  
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Our baby girl was born on 6/13/13.  After almost 48 hours of induced labor, I was blessed to have a successful VBAC!  Here is my birth story and why I decided to attempt a VBAC birth (vaginal birth after c-section).

On 4/1/11, I had an emergency c-section with our first daughter, Elyssa.  I was induced at 37 weeks because the fluid around Elyssa was too low, my BP (blood pressure) was high and I had protein in my urine.  After being in the hospital for almost 48 hours, pumped with different medications, being subject to different interventions attempting to jump start labor, being forced to stay in bed on one side because of my BP, the already challenging and disappointing experience ended in an emergency 
c-section.  In surgery it was discovered that the umbilical cord was wrapped around Elyssa’s neck which was causing her heart rate to drop.  Though I was sad and disappointed about having to have the c-section, I believed that we made the right decision.  Our health was at risk and I was grateful that we both were ok and able to leave the hospital together without any complications.

While I had to seek God’s peace and determine to be happy despite not having the birth that I desired, I did determine that I wanted to attempt a VBAC the next time. When we found out that we were pregnant on Elyssa’s first birthday, we were both so surprised and overjoyed.  Sadly, that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage the next month.  I was heartbroken and we sought couples grief counseling immediately.  I wanted to build myself back up emotionally, spiritually and physically so that we could get pregnant again.  God showed himself faithful and on our last day of counseling, we reported to our therapist that I was one month pregnant.  While I was super excited to be able to conceive again, I knew I had a journey ahead of me. I wanted a complication free, worry free, peaceful pregnancy and a successful VBAC birth.  I truly believe that NOTHING is too big for my God so I took my fears, anxiety and concerns to the cross and asked God to guide me and protect my baby and help my body to do all that he created it to do.

I messaged Keva Zeigler Williams, who is also a doula and an associate of mine on Facebook and asked her if she knew of any doulas in the Southfield, MI area who were knowledgeable about VBACs that would work with me for a reduced fee.  The associate messaged me back within a few hours and gave me the information to a lady name Cate Stolz.  She said that she reached out to her doula network and asked if anyone would be able to help me and Cate replied and said that she’d love to meet me. I contacted Cate that day, set up and interview and the rest is history!  We immediately clicked and we hired her as our doula.

Cate met with my husband, mom and me three times to develop my birth plan and to educate us about VBACs, medication options, tips for natural labor, positions and massages to assist with labor and so much more.  Cate was always respectful of our desires and beliefs and remained patient and compassionate as she answered my questions and eased my mind about certain concerns.

I educated myself about VBACs and talked to my friend Erica Andrews who had been blessed to have a successful VBAC.  My network of mommy friends were encouraging me, praying for me and cheering me on every step of the way.  Erica, Stephanie and Shereena had all had awesome experience with doulas and midwives and were helpful in educating me about why a doula would be an added blessing during my birth.  My husband was on board with me birth plan and was hopeful that I would get the birth that I desired.  He remained encouraging and supportive
from the beginning to the end.

My BP remained stable and the end of my pregnancy arrived and Elaina appeared to be very comfortable in my womb.  I was not dilating or showing any signs that labor was approaching.  My OB told me that she would induce me at 41 weeks if I had not gone into labor on my own.  At 39 weeks I became concerned and desperate to go into labor on my own.  I tried many recommended methods to induce labor naturally. I read a book by my friends Pastors Rich and Karla Walker entitled "How To Give Birth In The Presence Of The Lord."  I contacted Pastor Karla on Facebook and told her about my desire to go into labor naturally and to have a VBAC.  Pastor Karla sent me encouraging words about the remaining days of my pregnancy as well as my labor and delivery. After asking me a series of questions, she also developed a Customized Natural-Induction Guide just for me.  The tools given to me inside my CNIG helped me to remain at peace and the interventions used helped to prepare my body for labor.

I was induced on Tuesday night, 6/11/13.  I was concerned that being induced would cause me to end up with a repeat c-section but I continued to pray and ask God to be with me and our baby. My doula Cate came to that hospital every day that I was there, sometimes twice a day.  My husband and mother also remained by my side.  Unlike with my first pregnancy, I was educated about the different interventions and medications and was able to advocate for myself.  I was confident and bold enough to say no when the doctors on call attempted to rush and intimidate me into breaking my water too early.  I was bold enough to fire one doctor who was clearly not in support of my VBAC and was cocky and even rude.  I continued to get out of bed and walk the halls and get on the exercise ball until I received the epidural later in the day on 6/12/13.  The nurses were frustrated because they had to continue adjusting the baby monitor on my belly because I wouldn’t stay in bed and just lay on back like a good patient.  My husband told me not to worry about the monitor, just to remain active and let them come in and fix it.

I received an epidural after being in labor for 24 hours with no pain medications and no labor progression.  I had been at 5 centimeters all day and was in a lot of pain.  I tried one dosage of pain meds in my IV but that was a huge disappointment.  The IV meds may have worked for 20 minutes and then the intense pain was back and for some reason felt even worse than before.  I was afraid to get the epidural because when attempting a VBAC, you should avoid as many interventions as you can so that you decrease your chances of complications.  Also when I received the epidural with Elyssa, her heart rate immediately went down and I was wheeled into the OR.  After receiving the epidural I was able to get a good night's sleep and prepare for the big day. 

The next morning is when I fired the doctor on call because of his negative attitude and him telling me that the chances of me receiving a c-section that day was high.  I knew that I had not been making progress, that my water had been broken the previous afternoon and that I had a c-section once and might end up with another.  I DID NOT need a cocky doctor with poor bedside manner to wake me up at 6am to tell me those facts.  My internal monitors to monitor my contractions and the baby’s heart rate continued to come out (I had them both inserted three times a piece already) and the doctor was insisting on going inside of me and putting them back on and my husband said no.  He told him that my cervix is shaped awkward and it’s hard to get to, therefore it hurts like high heaven everytime I'm checked.  Also, since my water has been broken, to reduce the risk of infection, we should reduce the number of checks and internal interventions. The doctor continued to insist that I had to get the monitors inserted again anyway.  I said ok thank you and when he left the room and informed my nurse that I wanted another doctor assigned to my case and I wanted to speak to my OB immediately. 

It turned out that my OB was on her way to the hospital to see me.  It was 7:30am by this time. She checked me and I was at 8 centimeters!  I was overjoyed after being at 5 for a day, to move up to 8 was such a victory!  My OB agreed that I did not have to have any more internal monitors and she ordered me to get more pain medication when I was ready.  When my OB checked me at 12pm or 1 pm I was at 9 centimeters.  I was making slow progress but hey, at least I was progressing.  My OB went back to her office and I had to continue to labor.  All that day my pain was intense.  The epidural did provide me some relief in certain areas but did nothing for the pain and pressure in my back and butt.  My husband, mom and doula continued massaging the different parts of my body throughout the day.  Often times they were massaging different body parts at the same time while worship and praise music played on low in the background.  The three of them were rock stars, they were my dream team!  Both of our fathers were in the lobby, praying and being supportive from a distance.  Most of the afternoon I was quiet and focused on my goal.  My eyes remained closed and I rarely spoke.  Sometimes I practiced my breathing when the pain or pressure felt too intense.  Sometimes I hymned or moaned but I kept praying in my head, Lord help me, give me strength.  Words can’t describe how my body felt or the state of mind I was in.  All I can say was I was determined and focused and I kept my eyes on Christ.  I was picturing my baby girl’s arrival.

Around 2-230pm Rolisia, one of my closest sistafriends, surprised me and came to visit.  She came to pray in the hall outside my room but my father encouraged her to go into my room to see me and encourage me.  I don’t believe I opened my eyes much during her visit because I was in so much discomfort but I was super glad that she was there.  My parents, my husband, Rolisia and Cate and I took hands and had prayer.  Rolisia prayed a POWERFUL on time prayer with such authority and boldness and my faith was completely stirred up!!  I was coming down the home stretch of my journey and her bringing the presence of God into my room was just what I needed to finish my race!  Now that I think about it, the only time I cried the entire time I was in the hospital was when she came to visit.  Rolisia and I have been friends since we met at college in 1999 and she is the sister I never had.  To have her obey the Holy Ghost and come to pray for me meant so much because I was tired and casting down fear and I needed all the support that I could get!

The on call doctor checked me at 4:00pm and said I was at 10 centimeters and needed to start pushing even though my OB had not arrived back to the hospital yet.  Hearing the phrase, “it’s time to start pushing,” was bittersweet because I was so excited that my body and baby had worked together and I was going to get a chance to have my vaginal birth BUT I was so nervous at the same time!  I handed my camera to Cate and asked her to take pictures during the birth since my husband and mother were going to hold my legs.  I did a few pushes and the baby started coming down faster than they expected and my OB still wasn’t there so they asked me to try to wait for her.  My OB ran through the doors, told me exactly what to do and Elaina was born 20 mins later!!

It’s an indescribable feeling when your legs are in the air and you’re pushing with all your might and there are lots of people in the room all looking at your vagina and cheering you on.  Everyone kept saying, "she’s almost here keep pushing, push harder push harder."  I never cried or yelled throughout my 40 minutes of pushing.  I remained focused and wanted to save my energy for the battle.  I would push while my doula counted to ten then I would rest for a few seconds and start pushing again.  It was intense to say the least but once I felt her shoulders slide out and then the rest of her body, I was in awe and felt pure joy.  My OB lifted Elaina up so I could see her and we saw how big she was and my and my husband's eyes got so big!  She was almost 9lbs! They laid her on my chest so we could meet and Eddie got to cut the cord.  They cleaned her up and examined her all in our room.  I had to birth the placenta which was a little painful and messy but I didn’t care because I had done it, I had given birth vaginally and my baby girl was finally here and doing well.  I did get two stitches as my take home prize but again I wasn’t complaining.

Elaina wanted to nurse as soon as they gave her back to me.  Everyone but my mom and Cate left the room to get us food and to call the family and share the good news so I was able to nurse my precious newborn in peace.  Elaina latched on perfectly and nursed like a pro.  I truly enjoyed nursing my first daughter and was excited that my nursing journey with Elaina was starting out so well.

Our first night in the hospital with Elaina was perfect.  Elaina and I were both healthy and happy and were able to go home from the hospital that next day at my request.  I couldn’t wait to see Elyssa and have her meet her new baby sister.  Elyssa was excited and curious about her new sister and it was cute to see her stand next to her rocker and watch her sister sleep. It felt so good to have my family back under the same roof together with our new addition sleeping soundly next to our bed.  Once again God had shown himself mighty and faithful and I went to sleep with a smile of happiness and gratitude on my face!

If you are a woman who hopes to have a VBAC, I encourage you to get educated, locate an OB who supports VBACs and to build a support system.  Never lose hope, no matter what it looks like. Remember that your body was created to birth babies and Lord willing, you will get the birth that you desire.  While VBACs are important, we must remember that our health and safety as well as our babies always come first.  For different health reasons, VBACs are not an option for some women and that is ok.  We do not receive medals based on how our children come into the world. I’m really encouraging the women that are healthy and completely able to have VBACs to know their rights and take control of their births.  The medical professionals sometimes have their own agenda so the more educated you are and support you have around you, the less likely that you will be bullied into having a repeat c-section.

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2 Comments

Jenerra's Home VBA3C

10/11/2013

7 Comments

 
My VBAC journey began with me looking on “YouTube."   Believe it or not, I was originally looking up maternity clothing hauls, instead it ended up leading me to a VBAC video.  That’s how I found out that it was possible.  I truly believe that this was an act of God.

I was always told by my doctors that because I had my first c-section that I would have to keep having them, even though my first c-section was the result of an induction gone wrong.  There was no medical reason that I couldn’t have a vaginal birth, so when I discovered that women were having vaginal births after c-sections I was angry.  I felt lied to, and when I found out how much doctors got paid for c-sections versus vaginal births, I felt manipulated.  So I set out to find a doctor that would allow me to have a trial of labor; I couldn’t find one.  So then I started looking for a midwife (I was hoping to find one that worked at a birthing center).  I had some trouble with that.   Because I was already 16 weeks, I started going to the “TriHealth Nurse Mid-Wives."  They told me that I would have to have a c-section through their doctor.  I did however let them know that I wanted to have a VBAC, and If I found a doctor that would allow me to have a trial of labor, I would switch.

So I started attending their practice.  They told me that later in my pregnancy I would need to see their doctor to schedule surgery.  I knew that  was not what I wanted, so I never said anything.  I talked with the doctor one time.  He told me that he would not allow me to have a trial of labor.  Needless to say I didn’t want to talk to him again.  God somehow allowed me to slip through the cracks.  The nurses forgot or somehow overlooked me.  They didn’t catch the fact that they wanted me to schedule a c-section until a week before my due date.  They scheduled an appointment for me to talk to the doctor on Monday, and the doctor had my c-section scheduled for the next day.  I told the doctor that I was a stay at home mom with three children, and I needed more time.  He basically told me tough.  He said he was booked, and tomorrow was the only time he could get me in.  To make a long story a little shorter, I didn’t go.

I got on the computer, and started looking for anyone one that could possibly help.  I found someone with ICAN in another city, by the name of Julie.  Julie gave my information to a woman near me named Melissa (a doula).  Melissa hooked me up with a midwife named Julie, who works with another midwife name Felicia.  Long story short all of these wonderful women came to my house and helped me deliver my baby.  And I will love them forever.

I went in to labor at exactly 41 weeks.  My labor was 14 hours long, and I only pushed for 30 minutes before my 7lb15oz baby was born.

YES IT HURT! BUT I AM NOT A  BROKEN WOMAN!....AND NOW I KNOW IT!!! THANK GOD!!!

P.S  Shame on all the doctors that got paid off of my ignorance.  Never again.  And YES I CAN!! 

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7 Comments

LaQuitha's VBAC

10/10/2013

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When I was notified by my doctor that we would have to schedule a cesarean due to breech positioning at 39 weeks, I had a mixture of emotions.  The first emotion that I felt was fear, fearfulness of having to trust a person to surgically open up my torso, remove a healthy baby, and put me back together again.  Secondly, I felt a sense of relief.  I had taken special care to attend all of the hospital classes on childbirth education and breastfeeding.  I had organized everything that I possibly could have organized, even the onesies in little Ziploc baggies by age. The one thing that I could not seem to prepare myself for was the thought of actually pushing a baby out of me.  Although I had taken the childbirth classes, I had taken them with the foreknowledge that I would be getting an epidural as soon as possible.  What happened after the epidural was up to my imagination to concoct, and concoct it did.  I had heard nothing but negative stories about labor and childbirth, so I really had nothing but negative expectations of it deep down inside.  The last emotion that I had was disappointment.  Although the concept of labor and birth terrified me, I really didn’t want to undergo a major surgery.  Not only that, as much as it scared me, I didn’t want to be excluded from being able to have a vaginal birth in the future.

As the days leading up to my cesarean flew past, I felt an incredible sense of dread and impending doom.  Some of it was from the fear of the cesarean, while some it was from the normal changes that occur after a woman has her first child.  I could feel that this was a change from which I would never be the same, and I wasn’t yet sure if it was a good or a bad thing.

On the morning that I walked into the hospital for my birth, I was glad that my breech baby would soon be making an entrance in spite of my own trepidations about the procedure.  When it was all over, I was so happy to see the baby and nurse her for the first time.  All in all, everything was wonderful until the drugs wore off and the recovery process began.

I never fully felt “put back together” after that, and it wasn’t until my second pregnancy 14 months later that I realized that I absolutely could not bear to have to go through another recovery again.  My husband had just returned from a 9 month deployment to Iraq when we conceived our second child.  I was lucky to have an amazing family practice physician who, although she could not perform the cesarean herself, offered to connect me with an OB who would be able to do a VBAC for me if I so chose.  At the time, I declined and decided to just go for the repeat cesarean.

About two months later, some combination of hearing a story in the news about an African American woman who stayed home to deliver a baby unassisted as a VBA4C and seriously dreading my upcoming birth because of the cesarean made me decide to go back to my doctor and request a TOLAC instead of a RCS.  I am so lucky that she was so supportive and got me hooked up with an excellent provider.

I knew that if I really wanted to have the highest chances of having a successful VBAC, I would have to do some things a little differently.  After a bit of research, I decided that trying to deliver naturally would help to keep me off of the radar as far as interventions went in a typical birth.  I researched local doulas and contacted someone who could help me in my journey.

I was also very fortunate to have a friend who loaned me a copy of “The Guide to Childbirth” by Ina May Gaskin, which completely changed my perception of birth.  It was almost a rebirth of my personal paradigm surrounding birth.  I surrounded myself with positive birth stories and affirmations and tried to limit the negativity that I allowed myself to be exposed to in order to help me focus as much as possible on working with my body to birth my baby.  I knew that there was a definite possibility of a negative outcome, but I decided to just go with whatever happened and try to be at peace as much as I could.

I first felt that I was going into labor on exactly my due date.  However, after jumping up to clean house and get everything together, the contractions quickly stopped.  On the third day after my estimated due date, I decided to go for a walk with the family.  The contractions started again, and did not stop this time.  They were not intense at all so we went out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant and went looking around a store.  By around midnight, the contractions started to pick up and become more of an active labor, and so we decided to go in to the hospital.  By that point, I was dilated to 4 cm and was admitted.  I was so fortunate to have a nurse who was also supportive of natural labor and birth, and she allowed me to do whatever I needed to be comfortable and work with my body’s contractions.  This included doing my cervical checks while I was standing and allowing me to push when my body felt ready to push at 8 cm.  During the delivery, I was given the freedom to get in a position that worked best for me, and I believe that led to a speedy 3rd stage of labor.

Looking back, I really feel that birth completely changed my life for the better.  I felt so empowered afterwards and cherished the immediate contact and time that I was able to spend with my baby afterward, which was something I didn’t even realize that I had missed with the first since I had nothing with which to compare.

I was on such a birth high and felt so grateful for the experience I had that I decided to become a doula in order to support other moms during their births in an effort to pay it forward.  I am still involved in birth work to this day and I am honored to be able to say that, yes, indeed, black women can and do VBAC.

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